Change Can Be Hard - But God Is Good!

I lift up my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth….

The Lord will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life: the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Psalm 121: 1 - 2, 7 - 8

This has definitely been the hardest year of my life… and it has most certainly been the very best! I’ve been without work for over a year.  I’ve had to adjust from over 36 years with the same employer to no employment.  I’ve also had to adjust from an ample income to no income.  Yet, I would truly have to say that this has been one of the very happiest years of my life.  I have no employment, but have had no spare moments.  I have very limited income, but have never done without a meal.  It’s hard to describe how these difficulties in my life have turned into true blessings.

If I were working at my old job, my Spiritual life would have remained stale.  I wouldn’t have slowed down enough to feel God lead me to growth in my Spiritual life…I wouldn’t have had time to design and lead spiritual retreats… I couldn’t have worked on regional Via de Cristo week-ends… I wouldn’t have been asked to serve in leadership positions at my church and regional Christian organizations… wouldn’t have written this page… wouldn’t have started a blog… wouldn’t have met all the wonderful people that I have met through Spiritual channels…

And if I were still working this past year, my personal life and relationships would not be as strong as they are today. I couldn’t have spent weeks with my children…I wouldn’t have had time to spend with my baby girl for a week touring Northern California freezing in a mustang convertible… I wouldn’t have had the convenience of traveling with my oldest daughter across country as one last mother- daughter trip before her wedding… I wouldn’t have had a whole week with my son and daughter in law and friends (my adopted kids) purely relaxing and playing at the lake… I would have missed spending time at the beach with my niece and nephew last year getting to know my great nephews and great niece… I would have missed visits with them since that beach trip… there would have been no Denver trip to allow time for families to get to know each other… I would have too busy to renew friendships and plan visits with my childhood and dear friends… … no time to renew relationships with my brothers in law and sisters in law… I would have had to decline an invitation by dear friends to my first visit to the Outer Banks… wouldn’t have enjoyed spur of the moment dinners and visits to friends and family… renewed relationships with friends that are like family to me…

And I wouldn’t have slowed down long enough to allow myself to fall in love at the ripe old age of 58.  No one was more surprised about those feelings than I was – unless it was him with whom I fell in love!!!  I would have been too busy to ever allow myself to build that relationship!  And that would be a real shame!  I would have missed out loving the kindest man ever – and my life and heart wouldn’t have expanded to include his wonderful family.  Now, I just can’t imagine my life without them in it!

I’ve reconnected with friends I haven’t seen or heard from in 40 years!  Good, dear friends who I had lost contact with but thought of often.  Now we visit and talk regularly!

I have made so many new and dear friends this year – more than any year before.  Each one a blessing to my life in so many ways!

I guess I could say that this past year of being jobless has held many blessings!  Not that I don’t still need a job – with income – and insurance… I definitely do need employment – and pretty darned quick, too!  But, I wouldn’t trade the past year for anything.  I lost a lot, but found so much more! I’ve done without because of no income, but have never been richer!  I guess God wanted me slow down a bit and realize that there is more to life than dollars and cents… there’s more than traveling and staying in the finest hotels and eating steak every night… that being a First Class snob at US Air is not always me being in the best light of Christ.  I guess He thought that I might need to take a good hard look at my life and all that I was missing… and I was missing a lot!  Thank you, Jesus, for this year to “slow down and know” who’s in charge!!!!

Lord, I’ve learned that all that I have truly is Yours!  You continue to give me more than enough… You continue to bless me every day with family and friends.  You continue to find ways to enrich my faith walk and allow me to touch others.  I love the work that I am doing – I really do!!!!  I trust that you have me in Your hands, Lord and that you have plans for me.  I try not to worry about the future because you have always taken care of me and I know that you always will. But, just in case you need my opinion, Lord - a little income would be great!!!! I know I am supposed to be patient… but Lord, if you could just step it up a bit, I would really appreciate it!!!!

Truly, Lord, I know that you are leading me somewhere… I love you, Lord!  I am blessed by you every day!  I know that you are sending me somewhere – forgive me for missing the signs. Open my eyes Lord so that I can hear your call.  Here I am, Lord – send me!!!!

Love, your child Lula Mildred